I hope you all have had a great week! If you read the last post about the fabulous 'Miss L', here is another update direct from New York City. A place that stole part of my heart a few years back. Miss L has decided now in her late thirties that she is ready to find her forever man and settle down and maybe have a family. She has recently been dating a guy we named 'NYD' New York Dude. After enjoying 4 dates with him, mutual passion boiled over and Miss L allowed NYD to visit her bedroom to seal the deal. Things went well after a few more hot sweaty sessions in the next couple of weeks, then NYD had to go for a business trip quite a distance away.
He called Miss L for a chat one evening from his remote hotel room and made it clear he missed her ....A LOT. NYD then suggested that Miss L engage in a little...'Visual sex chat with him...minus her clothing! Miss L is a super classy lady who really had not been dating this guy long at all when he suggested this. A little taken aback, she declined, and ended the call to finish some work she had to do as she is a successful and busy woman. Miss L contacted me about NYD and his 'phone video sex chat request'. I could tell immediately Miss L was not super impressed with his request. I told Miss L she made the right call in declining on this. Miss L asked me why NYD wanted phone video sex at all, let alone so early in the relationship, so I told her the truth as I always do.
I told her that any guy who wants something like that in the very early stages and has not really earned his stripes yet is a bit of a concern. We all like a bit of sexy fun, but in this scenario he was pushing his luck a bit. With modern technology and face to face capability on our phones a part of our every day lives, we can understand how this type of thing is far more common place these days. But still....any guy who has only just started dating / sleeping with you and starts asking you to expose yourself on his phone for...lets face it, his own sexual gratification is a bit of a worry. In this day and age, women have to be increasingly aware of digital privacy, it is very easy for people to record activity on phones and computers these days, every single day new apps are coming out that allow us to do amazing things on our phone etc.... I advise all women to be extremely cautious in engaging in activity like this with anybody. You just never know. And sadly, I have to be honest that a lot of guys like to record stuff like this and keep it, and some will even show their male friends their 'trophies'...sad I know.
I also told Miss L that NYD wanted to do this because, apart from the main reason, (To get himself off) I truly felt this was also a 'control' exercise, NYD was trying to see how far he could push Miss L sexually by seeing if he could 'command' her to basically perform naked on his phone for him. Believe me when I tell you many guys will try stuff like this to see if they have a girl around their little finger so to speak. If you submit to this type of thing early, a guy will then try to push you into all kinds of things, and often become very dominating very fast. Miss L stuck to her guns and NYD soon apologised to her. But in a way the damage was done. I will say however though, in another scenario, this can be OK, for example, a soldier who has been deployed to a dangerous foreign country might engage in this kind of thing with his wife, or long term partner when he has shown long term love and respect for his woman. When he has proven his love, commitment, and trust for his lady, well, sometimes he might deserve a little treat like this, but NOT some dude you have just started dating.
Miss L recently told me she has since spoken to NYD and told him she was not so impressed about his request, and that she didn't feel like he was after a serious relationship, and also that she was not impressed he had arrived to a couple of their dates very very late with very lame apologies. (Never a good sign) and so forth, NYD admitted he was not after anything serious, he told Miss L he really did like her, but didn't want to waster her time anymore. He said sorry again, and asked if they could remain friends, Miss L said that was OK. A week later NYD sent a lovely gift to Miss L saying sorry again and that he was looking forward to just being friends with her as she is such a wonderful fun confident lady.
UPDATE FROM NEW YORK--
Miss L has recently had a first date with a very hot and handsome guy she wants to call the 'Sexy Israeli guy' (SIG), he is 5 years younger, and their first date went perfectly ending with a lovely stroll around New York City. Miss L told me SIG had that 'I sooooo want to kiss you' look in his eyes, but he held back. SIG paid for the meal, lead the conversation without dominating it at all, and made her laugh. On an interesting note, SIG told Miss L he was ready to find his forever lady and settle down, a somewhat brave move on a first date... he also told her he wants children. Since this first date SIG has been texting Miss L daily with pics of himself smiling and adding little notes like....'Wish you were here with me', Miss L tells me SIG is very cute, and nice and respectful. Stay tuned for more updates on our favourite New York sister, Miss L, and bye for now.